Missionary Mom

When I was asking about what kind of a post people would want to see; I was asked to write about being a missionary mom. My first reaction was: “no way!” but as I thought about it, I realized it might be useful to go ahead and give my perspective on this.

I am a new, first-time mother but I am not inexperienced. I have been around kids my whole life so, yes, it’s new in the sense that I am now responsible 24/7 for the baby, but changing diapers and making bottles and such is old hat for me. That being said, raising a baby in a different culture is a whole different ballgame than what I was expecting.

The hardest part for me is being told constantly (both subtly and directly) that I am not good enough. People voice their opinions in the States too, but here it’s harder for me to let roll off my back, particularly when it comes from people who shouldn’t be judging me. The culture has a lot to do with this, but even so, people are very slow to admit that the baby is in good health and growing steadily so therefore, I must be doing something right. Instead, they just thing he is a super strong baby and is overcoming everything. Some of that may be true, but I also know that some of the advice they give is really not good.

But it’s not just with the care of the baby that I am being judged and told I am not good enough. It’s also with housework and ministry work. Everyone has their own views as too what I should and should not be doing and although some people are more polite in how they say it, everyone feels the need to voice their opinions.

This gets hard to deal with after a while (although it’s never easy) and some days I just want to curl up on the bed with the baby and do nothing productive. Not a mature response I know, and the thought only crosses my mind. I just say a prayer, get up and do what I can. I have had to come to the realization that I am doing the best I can. If that’s not good enough, I will just have to take the hits, I literally cannot do anything else or any better than I am.

Another hard thing about being a missionary/pastor’s wife/mom is finding the balance between these roles. Throw in being a teacher and I have a very interesting concoction to try to figure out. Family always comes first but even then, there must be sacrifices made for ministry; where, how and what to sacrifice, and/or what to prioritize is the daily question and never has the same answer. The days that Amos has shots and is feeling under the weather, he comes first and nothing else matters, but on the “regular days” trying to find a balance is exhausting. There are days when Jonathan is working all day, has an hour or two at home then has a meeting that evening. Those days I have to prioritize my husband and home. Sometimes the meetings are in my home, other times they are in the church, and other times at a completely different location. I have to have the house clean, work clothes ready for my husband for the next day, dinner made, dog pottied and crated, preferably baked goods ready for the meeting and a thousand other little things, all while shuffling a baby that may or may not take a nap, and doing laundry and teaching prep. And if I feel not so great? Too bad!! Gulp down some vitamins, drink tea and keep pushing through the day!

However, there are some extremely fulfilling moments as well. Watching children in the neighborhood respond to Jonathan, seek him out in fact is one such moment. Having people feel comfortable enough to come by even though I am an American, that is another moment. When my husband can flow in his calling because I have his home in order (both physically and spiritually) is another moment.

Yes, being a missionary Mom is hard work, there is no denying it. And there are days that I feel like throwing in the towel. But, once I remember who my God is, why I serve him, and remember that I willingly accepted this calling, it gives me the strength to continue, even on the rough days. But when I begin to see the fruits of my husband’s labor in the fields (spiritually speaking), I get a huge second wind. I can put my head down and keep going. “For everything there is a season…” Life will never be easy or comfortable, but it is rewarding and fulfilling. Just remember that on the difficult days and you will get through.

Until next time, may Adonai bless you and your homes.