The only "correct way"

             So, I was going to write this post over the weekend as I usually try to do. However, my computer was left in the trunk of our new car (yay!), and then my husband locked the car key in the trunk. So, we had to wait for the spare to be brought to us and I was unable to get to my computer for most of the day Saturday. Thus the reason this post is a tad late.

            Yes, we have a car! It has been affectionately named “Jarvis” (from Ironman) and it’s a silver VW Gol, hatchback, 4-door sedan. It will be perfect for transporting baby when he comes and it hauls all our teaching stuff and groceries just fine. It also has a working AC! Yay!!!! Adonai is always faithful to provide.

            Now onto my main post….

            The idea for this post came when I was doing some teaching prep for one of my classes. I have been teaching about equality and women’s rights in various countries. For my 5^th grade class, one of those countries was/is Saudi Arabia.

            I took a big risk teaching on this country as there is a lot you don’t want to teach 5^th graders….not yet anyway. But I felt like it contrasted nicely with the other countries being studied, so I took the risk and spent LOTS of time selecting what to teach. But one thing I did discover was rather interesting and can be applied to life here in the Dominican as well. It is commonly referred to as the “western” or “American” mindset.

            In one particular article I was reading, a female Saudi journalist was being interviewed. She made this statement: "Look, we are not asking for ... women's rights according to Western values or lifestyles ... We want things according to what Islam says. Look at our history, our role models." And this statement is what trigged memories of the only “correct” way or the only “true” way. Many times this concept has been preached from the pulpit of churches I have been in, about a particular denomination. But this is a much broader issue. It’s a mindset that is actually causing more harm than good, even in the USA.

            What determines the correctness of the western or American mindset? Why is it correct and a Saudi or Dominican one, incorrect? For that matter, what defines correct? If one uses the religion/scripture argument, it does not hold water in other countries (like Saudi Arabia) where their Holy Book and religion says something different. According to their beliefs, they are correct. So, is it the culture? That argument is even weaker because cultures are as diverse as people. My point in this is that most (if not all) “mindsets” think they are right.

            But what shapes our mindset? Why are we simultaneously unaware of it, and get angered if someone tries to change it? Why is it a personal insult if someone thinks differently or disagrees with you? And most importantly, why do we try to force our views/mindsets on others? Why do we feel these urge to make others think and act like us? Is it so that no one person stands out; a safety in numbers type thing?

            But let’s focus in on the American mindset. We have a very set way of doing things and it is generally believed to be the “correct” or “best” way. It can be anything from construction to religion, to freedoms, to parenting, etc. And when we go to foreign countries for whatever reason, it is through this “American mindset” filter that we see and judge everything.

            I am going to use the Dominican Republic because it is my only International experience. In the States we would never, ever, allow people to be so packed into a bus that there are passengers hanging onto a window with one foot on the running board while the bus is moving at the speed limit. But here, it is the way of life. Is it wrong? No. Dangerous yes, but not wrong. What makes it wrong? Just the fact that it is dangerous? But think about it. Most of these people have probably never been, or ever will go to the States. They were raised seeing this, doing this and have adapted and learned enough that they can do it safely. Can an American do it? Probably not. We are not accustomed to it. However, in the States we do things that Dominicans see as wrong. The personal bubble is a good example. Dominicans don’t have one and they can be offended by people who do. They see it as wrong. Also, needing to be invited to someone’s house rather than just showing up, they think is wrong. This is a mindset thing. Americans are not necessarily wrong about our views and neither are Dominicans.

            So what am I getting at?

            Well, I am glad you asked. Let’s expand this whole “one correct way” thing into the church. Is there only one “correct” way of having a service? What about one “correct” type of music? What about the “correct” time of day? What about the “correct” day?

            I am not going to go into detail about the “correct” day. That is a blog post for another day. But I will say this. Are Jews wrong? Are Christians wrong? If so, why? Scholars can argue both sides of the argument. But are you going to hell if you worship on one day instead of the other? Or is it perhaps the one you are worshiping that is more important?

            Back to where I was going; the whole mindset thing. If a person really wants to be effective in ministry, regardless of what country (USA or otherwise) you have to be able to disengage that programed “mindset”. Step out of what you think and really observe those around you. What do they think and believe? Can you agree with them on some level? Are they actually WRONG? Or do you just disagree with them? Is your mindset preventing you from learning from them? Is it possible to adjust your views and still not be “wrong”?

Think about it….again I ask, what is a “correct” mindset?

Is it what you think and know? Or is it perhaps what allows unity among the children of God regardless of language, culture and belief?

Are Dominicans wrong in how they do things because it isn’t the American way? Or are they perhaps right because they live in a different world (so to speak) then we do? Have you ever worked 6.5 days a week and only made $200 a month? With that you have to pay rent, food, education, transportation, etc. And then someone who is rich comes in and tells you that you are wrong because you have a dirt floor and you eat rice and beans 3 meals a day. Would you say they are wrong? Yes! They don’t know you, your life, your culture. They are judging based on what they know. Their mindset tells them you are wrong, yours tells you they are wrong. See what I am getting at?

Our mindset is causing damage. Rushing in to save the day for the poor by giving them a few days supplies of food and necessities makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and that you “helped” and in your mindset you have done the right thing. But what about in a few days when those supplies run out? What about when those people are again without food? What then? Did you actually end up helping them or causing harm because now they are back to where they started and have nothing to show for it. No relationship, nowhere to turn, back to the mindset of doing what it takes to make a living, even asking where is God now? This might eventually lead to anger and resentment of those that tried to help. Again, it’s the mindset that is the issue.

The whole point of this post that I don’t feel I am getting across very well is that we need to be able to change mindsets. In America think like and have an American mindset. When in China think like and have a Chinese mindset, etc. There is no one “correct” way of doing things when it comes to engaging people, doing ministry, living in a culture, etc. Think like those around you and you will suddenly find yourself able to be compassionate and be able to know how to help those in need in a way that does not harm them.

Basically, be willing to change, be flexible and throw off the whole “correct” mindset thing.

Well, the baby is hungry, I am going to go feed him. Until next week all y’all, shalom.