What does "Life" mean?

Why when things get tough do we say “that’s life”

But not when things are good?

How does one describe life?

With each breath we breathe

With each movement we make that’s life….

But isn’t there more?

Is “life” just the heartbeat and breath?

Or is it something more in depth?

Is “life” just physical or is it also spiritual?

Can you be emotionally dead but still be “alive”?

What defines life?

sound, smell, feeling, taste, and sight?

Maybe it’s each cell in our bodies

or the bark of a tree.

Maybe life is in the wind

Maybe it’s more than we can see.

When somebody says “you need to get your life back”….

What does that really mean?

Did we really lose our “life” or maybe just take a different one?

Maybe our “life” is each moment and not our plans.

If we take a different trail when we walk, do we die?

Not usually.

life….such a small word with many different meanings…

What is life to you?

One year on

Last week was Jonathan and my anniversary; and boy! what a year it has been! We have grown and matured a lot over the last year as we have tackled so many challenges. We joke and say if we could get through this past year, we can do anything!

After our wedding we applied ourselves and finished our last semester strong (it was only 3 weeks so not terribly hard to do). We continued to work for an additional week before we moved out of the house. Jonathan was ordained on Dec. 30^th and at 6:00am on Dec. 31^st, we boarded our first flight to head to the Dominican Republic. That was hard. I was tough throughout the whole moving and saying goodbye process, but on the train to the terminal it hit me. But I kept myself together because let’s face it, I don’t cry in public. Sure, I buried my head in Jonathan’s shoulder for a few minutes, but that is all I would allow myself to do. By 1:15pm we had landed in the DR and we started the process of entering this country that I would now call home.

The first 2 weeks we stayed in housing because our home was a garage with no electricity or plumbing. A mission team came in and put in windows, an entryway, created a doorway and closed off 2 others. Jonathan then installed electricity and plumbing for our kitchen and laundry. Without their help, I have no idea how far along our house would actually be!

We came with a some money thanks to savings and wedding gifts, but even as cheap as things are here, it took a lot of money to get our home livable. We started applying for jobs and within a week I had an interview. I got hired to be a teacher and would start the following Monday.

My first day as a teacher was hard! Language barrier, new students, first year teacher stress, trying to figure out the system, meeting teachers and students, trying to learn the schedule, on and on it goes. I came home absolutely exhausted but I had something weighing on my mind even more than my first day of teaching. That night I finally took the pregnancy test that I had been too scared to take earlier….it came back positive!

I will admit. Joy and excitement were not the first reactions I had. More like a burst of tears from being overwhelmed. This was not our plan, I was a newlywed in a new country. Shoot, I don’t even speak Spanish, our house isn’t finished and now a baby is on the way??? Oy vey!

I spent the next 24 hours just trying to process this new information. I approached one of the other teachers who was also pregnant, but more importantly, was an English speaker. She helped me with basic stuff and then I had to tell my new boss that I was pregnant, but I did nopt know it at the time I was hired. She understood and so I began to adjust to this new course God had put me on. Fortunately, I had a trip to the States plan for residency paperwork 10 days later.

After arriving in NYC I found out that day that residency wasn’t going to happen. The DR has new procedures about it and I received conflicting information. However, I was unable to return to the DR for 2 weeks because I had a non-refundable, Non-moveable flight. I called Mom and headed to Nashville the next day.

After returning to the DR the routine of work, house reno and such began. Not having a car meant I had to do public transportation adding 3 hours to my day. Jonathan soon got a job though and he could at least travel a good part of the way with me. However, the Lord smiled and 3 weeks after getting a job, Jonathan resigned and began teaching at the same school as me. He could now be with me the whole way! However, we both soon found a need for a car and so we decided to go ahead and invest in a used car being sold by a co-worker of ours. Morning sickness and the extra-long commute was very hard for me physically and emotionally. In May we acquired Jarvis and he has been a lifeline several times.

Summer was full of heat, heat and more heat. I went home for 5 days in June because I had slipped back into horrible depression and being pregnant, I refused to even inquire about medication. The short but sweet trip home was like a breath of air to a drowning person. Although I was physically fine, it was a mental and emotional emergency that I get home.

Between my return to the DR and Amos’ delivery, life was fairly routine. The normal power outages, heat, doctor’s appointments and ministry; but the heat was just terrible. I finally agreed to finance an air conditioner and in August, I could finally have a house that was cool and did not make me sick when I was home. Up to this point the AC I had was in the car or at some of the stores we shopped at. Our school does not have AC and other than big stores and some doctors’ offices, it is not common here.

September came and I was within a month of delivery so doctor’s appointments increased to weekly. I had some medical difficulties the previous 2 months so the doctor was being extra cautious about everything. I went for a routine sonogram and discovered the umbilical cord was around Amos’ neck. The doctor ordered a special sonogram to double check and make sure he was not in distress (he wasn’t, happy as a clam he was) and decided I needed a c-section. I got this verdict on Thursday and was scheduled for a c-section the following Monday at 39 weeks. Fortunately, my Mom arrived in the DR on Sunday, the day before Amos’ arrival.

The c-section itself was traumatic as no one was allowed in and so I had to do it by myself without understanding what was going on or being said. However, Amos was born strong and healthy and has only thrived since his birth (Praise God).

Now, a year after getting married I find myself not only adjusting to married life, but motherhood, ministry life and living in a construction zone. Although our house is very livable and as homey as I can make it; it is in no way finished. However, baby man doesn’t seem to mind, it’s more me trying to clean and such that minds.   

But, the Lord is good and faithful! We have overcome it and can put one notch on our belt, with hopefully many more to come. We are now getting Amos’ papers so that he can be a dual citizen which has proven to be a nightmare, as most governmental things are. Our deadline with the DR is Friday, after that there is a penalty, however, Jonathan should be on the 2^nd to last or last step today…after that it’s off to the embassy with a prayer that they rush papers without us having to pay a rush fee. I would love to visit my family before my maternity leave expires at the end of December so they can all meet Amos. Adonai has been faithful and if he wants, I will go home, it is just looking impossible currently. But, I have a strong healthy baby and a relationship that has withstood wind, fire and rain (literally and figuratively), so daynu.

Until next time, may Adonai bless you.

Election Day

I delayed until today to write this post because I wanted to see the results of this Presidential election. I deliberately don’t post anything political, so may choice will not be discussed. However, there are a few things I want to talk about in regards to this election.

            This is the most divided election I have seen. I have been genuinely surprised by the choice of some of my friends as to who they voted for. My facebook feed for the last month or more has been very heavy with political posts as people practiced their freedom of speech on social media. The last 24 hours though have been a real eye opener. Neither candidate was a good choice but we had to choose the “lesser of two evils”; which makes me ask two questions:

1)      What decides the lesser evil? And 2) why did we get to that position in the first place?

Let me start with the second question first.  Considering how many candidates there were at the beginning, how did we get it down to Trump and Hillary? In all honesty, I am not surprised at Hillary getting the Democratic nomination. She is the wife of a former president, has run before, and is of course, a woman. Combine that with her experience, I am sure the democrats thought she had a fighting chance to win where as their other candidates did not. However, Trump winning the Republican nomination continues to amaze me. How did he beat Carson, Cruz and others? My guess is money has a lot to do with it. However, Trump is also of the generation that has the most active voters. He talks like them and has the same values (minus the degrading of women) as them. Maybe that is why he won the nomination.

            Now for the second question. This one is tough. What defines the lesser of two evils? Everyone has their own criteria. It depends on what is os most importance to you. Some would say gun control, others abortion, still others say gay rights, a few say their political stance with foreign countries like Iraq, Iran etc. So is there really a way to define the “lesser” of two evils? Not really. We all view and interpret scripture differently so what you would say are scriptural issues, others might disagree with. For example, I found out that more people from my belief system voted for a candidate more than the other because of abortion. To them, that was the most important thing. So, they decided the candidate against abortion, was the lesser of two evils. However, I have many friends, that that think racism and degrading of women should not be allowed and they voted for the other candidate because to them, that was the lesser of two evils. It’s all in your viewpoint and interpretation of scripture,

            Let me just clarify something. Due to my surprise pregnancy and all the hassle and things associated with it, I forgot to sign-up for absentee voting so I did not vote. (Baby first!) And I also did not closely follow the candidates throughout their campaigning. Everything I know has come from family or friends.

            That being said, Trump has been elected President. So, regardless of who you voted for, America decided Trump was the better choice. As believers, we have a duty to pray for him because he will be in leadership over us. We need to pray for him to have wisdom above all else. Trump will now re[present one of the most powerful countries in the world. We must pray for him.

            And that is that. Until next week. May Adonai bless and keep you.  

Breaking Superstition

I know it’s common in the States as well, but here in the DR, everyone (particularly women) feel the need to give you advice on how to care for your baby. The advice comes from not only people you know, but also perfect strangers that just feel you are doing something wrong. It might also be particularly bad with me as an American and Jonathan because Dads need all the help they can get right? Jonathan is learning some things still yes, but he is doing great so the advice is really not needed.

Anyway, there are several big things done here in regards to baby and mama care that I did not do. This triggered a good amount of the advice and some concern from both strangers and Jonathan’s family so I thought it would be interesting to address some of these superstitions that I broke and/or did not know about.

First the pregnancy superstitions I broke:

Do not eat pineapple: This one has a couple of reasons I can find. The first is one that was confirmed by a Dominican friend of mine. Eating pineapple is said to burn the skin of the baby. An online source says that it is also believed that it causes miscarriage. I ate a TON of pineapple during pregnancy, in fact I still eat a lot!

  

Do not go in the ocean: I am not sure how common this belief is anymore. I went into the ocean with another very pregnant Dominican lady so it may be a superstition that is dying out. Anyway, it is said going into the ocean will cause you to lose the baby.

Do not look at a dead body: This one I can see being rooted in common sense. Sometime in the beginning of my 2^nd trimester there was an electrical fire at a neighbor and former church members house. Sadly, she died in the fire. Jonathan went over to be with the family and I went with him. I did not realize the body was still on scene (she was covered though). It is said looking at a dead body will cause you to lose the baby. However, I can see it being rooted in the fact that touching a dead body with all the bacteria and such can cause that, so they may have expanded it to looking at a corpse over the years.

Always give a pregnant lady what she craves: this superstition says that if a pregnant lady does not get the food she craves, the baby will have a mark on their butt in the shape of that item. So if the mother wants eggplant for example, and does not get it, the baby will have an eggplant shaped birthmark on its butt for the duration of their life. My question is: what if the pregnant woman craves pineapple like I did?? Now Jonathan usually got me what I craved because he is sweet, not because of the super superstition. And the few things I did crave and did not get, have not shown themselves as a mark on Amos anywhere.

            Now the postpartum superstitions I am not adhering too:

Do not wash your hair for 40 days: This one is interesting and has been confirmed by multiple Dominicans. It is believed by not washing your hair your actually protecting your baby from getting sick, and having gases. I guess because washing your hair makes your head cold and opens you up to get sick and therefore the baby. The 40 days is to keep the woman at home to recuperate and help her heal so not washing her hair helps with that? Anyway, I confirmed this with a friend of mine and her Mom-in-law said yes, but this is not followed much anymore which is why “children are not as strong as they used to be”. When I got home from the hospital the first thing I did was shower and wash my hair (I was unaware of this superstition, not that it would have changed anything though). My Mother-in-law was concerned about me when she saw I had washed my hair and questioned my Mom about my well-being. The truth is, when my hair is clean I feel better, I cannot stand dirty hair. However, Amos is super strong and healthy so my Mom-in-law is no longer concerned.

Do not walk outside after dark: I had to walk to the end of the block shortly after getting home from the hospital to go get an antibiotic shot at my aunt’s pharmacy. It was around 7:30 so it was dark. My aunt was very concerned and told me not to do that again and she would come to me to give the shot because of the “dew of the night” whatever that means. From what I can gather, it is cooler at night and therefore I am more prone to get sick and so is the baby. I think…but even at night it is not below 70 degrees so I am not concerned about that.

Do not take the baby out after dark: okay, so this one makes sense to some extent. I don’t want to take a newborn out much anyway but after dark adds complications with just seein bumps and things. However, the superstition says taking a baby out after dark makes them have green poop. This is believed by Jonathan’s family so they were amazed when I did indeed take Amos out after dark at one point. Amos is fine and does not poop green for those of you who were concerned about that.

Do not touch a newborn: I am still amazed at how people don’t touch babies! I can’t help it but no one touches Amos because they are dirty. It makes sense but the extreme to which they take it is surprising. I don’t mind people touching my baby with just normal everyday activity “dirt”. Now if you are covered in dirt that’s different but just daily stuff I am fine with.

Always cover up the baby: Okay, this makes sense in the States but here? Not so much. I am montoring the babies temp, but he does not need to be bundled up all the time. However, people are convinced unless they are they will get cold and sick. So far one month with Amos and no issues, but I also am blessed to have a very strong and healthy baby.

I am sure there are more superstitions I am breaking but these are all I am aware of. I think it’s interesting to learn these things about the culture. However, I realized by breaking the superstitions I am also proving two things. 1) Superstitions are just that, superstitions. And 2) My God is bigger and in control.

Until next week, may Adonai bless you and keep you. 

Encouragement

     This week has been so busy that I had no time to write anything. Instead, I want to share with you some of my favorite (and encouraging) quotes from my pinterest boards. I hope to have a full post next week. Blessings and Chag Sameach!

Espacio Hardin family update

       It's been two weeks since Amos was born. It's hard to believe. My pregnancy went so slow, and know my baby is already 2 weeks old? What? He is thriving and is already doing things that a 2 week old should not be able to do. He can roll from his side to his back, and his back to his side. He has a lot of head control (not 100% but probably 85-90%) and eats 4 oz of formula at a time. He is not a whinny baby and really only cries when he is hungry, his tummy hurts or if we put cold wipes on his fanny to clean up his diaper mess. The rest of the time, he is pretty content little guy.

       Amos does recognize our voices and has even smiled at us a few times. He knows both his grandmas too, Jonathan and I spent a lot of time talking to Amos while he was in the womb and it seems to have paid off, He will turn his head or follow us with his eyes when he hears us talk. He also responds to music. He doesn't respond to the music the colmado plays, but if we sing or have music on in the house he will listen to it very intently. I think we might have a future worship leader on our hands, but at the very least a musician.

     My Mom returns to the States on Saturday which is sad. I have enjoyed having her here and her help has been invaluable. However, we are starting to gather the paperwork to declare Amos and get his US citizenship and passport, I am hoping to get it by the end of the year so we can travel back to the States whenever we want. I have a list of the required documentation and pictures so hopefully, it won't be a long, drawn out process. 

    

      My recovery is going pretty well. Slower than I want, but well overall I think. I am having trouble sleeping but I can't tell if that's because Amos does not have a schedule or if it's something else. We are working to get little bit on a schedule but some days we are more successful than others. But, I am able to bend over now which is nice (still can't lift but that will come) and although my incision still hurts with certain movements, or after an abnormally active day, it is not an all the time pain. I no longer need help laying down or sitting up and it does not talk me a while to move around. So, I am grateful for the little advances in my healing. And a bonus is I am able to wear my pre-pregnancy clothes which makes me happy, I have some pretty things that I have missed wearing!

      Jonathan has returned to work and the threat of hurricanes has passed for now. He is trying to play catch-up with his teaching but I know he will do fine. He is disappointed that his team did not make the world series but he did enjoying watching them play in the playoffs. He also is going to be a chaplain for one of the Dominican baseball teams and their season starts up soon. I think he will be excellent at that.

      Well, I guess that's it for now. Until next week: may Adonai grant you blessings and peace in your homes.

Amos' birth

As you have probably heard, the baby is here! He was born on Monday, September 26, 2016. He weighed 7 lbs, 10 oz. at birth and was 21 inches long. Not a large baby by American standards (or even for my family, we normally have 8.5 and up pound babies), but that is large for down here. Amos is strong and healthy and packs food away like there is no tomorrow. He doesn’t spit up, and is now drinking 3 ounces of formula at a time! There is certainly no failure to thrive praise Adonai!

My Mom arrived in Santo Domingo on Sept. 25^th in the afternoon. Her flights went well and smoothly and we had a good evening getting some baby stuff and eating mofongo for dinner, because that is what I wanted. Monday came and I was prepared for my c-section. I had been told all this time that and exception to the no people in the room policy would be allowed because of me needing a translator. Obviously, Jonathan was the person that would be allowed in. However, as soon as they wheeled me in they slammed the doors and would not let Jonathan or my Mom into the room even though I speak little Spanish. I did ask for Jonathan but my request was refused, by my doctor who had told me he could be there. Needless to say, I was very upset.

After I was in the room, it took them 15-20 minutes to administer the epidural because I required 3-4 shots. Apparently, I need a higher dosage to not feel anything. This does not surprise me as it has happened in the past with numbing medicine and such that I needed more than just one shot. However, they did finally succeed in getting my completely numb and the procedure continued.

I am not going to lie; I was fighting back tears at this point. I was scared stiff, I could not understand what they were saying, they kept sticking me with needles and my family wasn’t around. Both grandparents and Jonathan were in the waiting room and I had to go through this alone. I have never needed Adonai more, and he comforted me as I walked through it.

At noon on the dot Amos was born with nice strong healthy lungs. The doctor the got him was Jonathan’s sister (one request that was honored) and she made sure he was healthy, cleaned him up, dressed him, and took him out to meet Jonathan, my Mom and Grecia. After hearing Amos cry, I relaxed and actually fell asleep for a few minutes while the doctors stitched me up. I was met in the hall by Mom and Jonathan who assured me the baby was healthy and the face splitting smile on Jonathan’s face told me he was everything Jonathan wanted.

I was then taken to my room for recovery. I was laying perfectly flat and I was not allowed to talk or move my head to prevent the epidural headache. I did well about not lifting my head but the not talking was hard. I did pretty good though and I was successful in not getting the headache.

I could not eat, drink or nurse until Tuesday but Jonathan’s family came to see the baby and Mom stayed the night to formula feed and care for the baby while I was incapacitated. Mom brought her Spanish dictionary too so that we could somewhat communicate with medical people when Jonathan was not around. We managed but it was hard.

During the night I started bleeding really hard. The nurse (only one on duty) decided to wait until morning to change my sheets. At 7am she came in, told me to stand up, go take a sponge bath then come back to bed. She sat me up for 30 seconds, stood me up and started stripping the sheets. Mom had to help me to the bathroom and help me sponge bathe and change clothes. Now, I had not eaten since about 8am Monday morning and then it was only broth. I also had been lying on my back since noon the day before and other than saline, had no fluids and I had lost a lot of blood. I stood up in the bathroom for about 5 minutes but then passed out. Fortunately, Mom is a former paramedic and was un-phased as she caught me on my way down; preventing a concussion from hitting the sink or tile floor (and the baby was in his bed asleep too so that was good). She called for the nurse who, of course, did not come, but I came too again pretty fast after hitting the floor and was able to get up with her help and hobble back to bed.  Breakfast was brought in a little bit later which helped with my dizziness. When Jonathan arrived later that morning, he told the doctors about it and they were not pleased. My doctor was supposed to get me up and about, not the night nurse. But all is well and that was my only fainting spell.

I was allowed to start nursing Tuesday evening and it went fairly well. Wednesday Jonathan had to return to work but mid-morning I had a muscular cramp that caused a lot of pain and made breathing difficult. I then had an anxiety attack because I felt like I could not breathe. Mom got the doctor and I called Jonathan so he could translate over the phone. Both the doctor on duty and my doctor were talked too and everything was cleared up. However, I was still having my anxiety attack so Jonathan took an emergency personal day and came to the clinic. I was under observation for an hour or so and then released. Wednesday afternoon Amos and I were finally home.

Wednesday night was rough as we had not bought more formula and I had a small milk supply. I nursed literally all night but it just wasn’t enough. At 4:45am Amos finally fell asleep and at 5:00 Jonathan went to the pharmacy and bought formula. He then headed to work. Sadly, Amos had to go get some vaccines that day (Thursday) but he was so exhausted from the night that he hardly cried. However, things began to look up after that and it has been as smooth sailing as can be expected from that point on.

As for my healing, it is going slow. I have been more active then I should have been so I am trying to force myself to slow down. Due to pain and soreness, we still use formula at night so I can have a break from nursing. Jonathan and my Mom are taking turns during the night and I nurse as needed. However, during the day I only nurse and so far Amos is doing very well with that. It is just a short term solution, but it is working for now. Amos and I each see our doctors on tomorrow so we will have an update on both of us then.  

Well, that is pretty much it. It was a difficult delivery, but Praise God, Amos is here safe and sound. And now begins the healing process for me and the growing process for Amos. Until next week; may the Lord bless your homes.