Breaking Superstition

I know it’s common in the States as well, but here in the DR, everyone (particularly women) feel the need to give you advice on how to care for your baby. The advice comes from not only people you know, but also perfect strangers that just feel you are doing something wrong. It might also be particularly bad with me as an American and Jonathan because Dads need all the help they can get right? Jonathan is learning some things still yes, but he is doing great so the advice is really not needed.

Anyway, there are several big things done here in regards to baby and mama care that I did not do. This triggered a good amount of the advice and some concern from both strangers and Jonathan’s family so I thought it would be interesting to address some of these superstitions that I broke and/or did not know about.

First the pregnancy superstitions I broke:

Do not eat pineapple: This one has a couple of reasons I can find. The first is one that was confirmed by a Dominican friend of mine. Eating pineapple is said to burn the skin of the baby. An online source says that it is also believed that it causes miscarriage. I ate a TON of pineapple during pregnancy, in fact I still eat a lot!

  

Do not go in the ocean: I am not sure how common this belief is anymore. I went into the ocean with another very pregnant Dominican lady so it may be a superstition that is dying out. Anyway, it is said going into the ocean will cause you to lose the baby.

Do not look at a dead body: This one I can see being rooted in common sense. Sometime in the beginning of my 2^nd trimester there was an electrical fire at a neighbor and former church members house. Sadly, she died in the fire. Jonathan went over to be with the family and I went with him. I did not realize the body was still on scene (she was covered though). It is said looking at a dead body will cause you to lose the baby. However, I can see it being rooted in the fact that touching a dead body with all the bacteria and such can cause that, so they may have expanded it to looking at a corpse over the years.

Always give a pregnant lady what she craves: this superstition says that if a pregnant lady does not get the food she craves, the baby will have a mark on their butt in the shape of that item. So if the mother wants eggplant for example, and does not get it, the baby will have an eggplant shaped birthmark on its butt for the duration of their life. My question is: what if the pregnant woman craves pineapple like I did?? Now Jonathan usually got me what I craved because he is sweet, not because of the super superstition. And the few things I did crave and did not get, have not shown themselves as a mark on Amos anywhere.

            Now the postpartum superstitions I am not adhering too:

Do not wash your hair for 40 days: This one is interesting and has been confirmed by multiple Dominicans. It is believed by not washing your hair your actually protecting your baby from getting sick, and having gases. I guess because washing your hair makes your head cold and opens you up to get sick and therefore the baby. The 40 days is to keep the woman at home to recuperate and help her heal so not washing her hair helps with that? Anyway, I confirmed this with a friend of mine and her Mom-in-law said yes, but this is not followed much anymore which is why “children are not as strong as they used to be”. When I got home from the hospital the first thing I did was shower and wash my hair (I was unaware of this superstition, not that it would have changed anything though). My Mother-in-law was concerned about me when she saw I had washed my hair and questioned my Mom about my well-being. The truth is, when my hair is clean I feel better, I cannot stand dirty hair. However, Amos is super strong and healthy so my Mom-in-law is no longer concerned.

Do not walk outside after dark: I had to walk to the end of the block shortly after getting home from the hospital to go get an antibiotic shot at my aunt’s pharmacy. It was around 7:30 so it was dark. My aunt was very concerned and told me not to do that again and she would come to me to give the shot because of the “dew of the night” whatever that means. From what I can gather, it is cooler at night and therefore I am more prone to get sick and so is the baby. I think…but even at night it is not below 70 degrees so I am not concerned about that.

Do not take the baby out after dark: okay, so this one makes sense to some extent. I don’t want to take a newborn out much anyway but after dark adds complications with just seein bumps and things. However, the superstition says taking a baby out after dark makes them have green poop. This is believed by Jonathan’s family so they were amazed when I did indeed take Amos out after dark at one point. Amos is fine and does not poop green for those of you who were concerned about that.

Do not touch a newborn: I am still amazed at how people don’t touch babies! I can’t help it but no one touches Amos because they are dirty. It makes sense but the extreme to which they take it is surprising. I don’t mind people touching my baby with just normal everyday activity “dirt”. Now if you are covered in dirt that’s different but just daily stuff I am fine with.

Always cover up the baby: Okay, this makes sense in the States but here? Not so much. I am montoring the babies temp, but he does not need to be bundled up all the time. However, people are convinced unless they are they will get cold and sick. So far one month with Amos and no issues, but I also am blessed to have a very strong and healthy baby.

I am sure there are more superstitions I am breaking but these are all I am aware of. I think it’s interesting to learn these things about the culture. However, I realized by breaking the superstitions I am also proving two things. 1) Superstitions are just that, superstitions. And 2) My God is bigger and in control.

Until next week, may Adonai bless you and keep you. 

Encouragement

     This week has been so busy that I had no time to write anything. Instead, I want to share with you some of my favorite (and encouraging) quotes from my pinterest boards. I hope to have a full post next week. Blessings and Chag Sameach!

Espacio Hardin family update

       It's been two weeks since Amos was born. It's hard to believe. My pregnancy went so slow, and know my baby is already 2 weeks old? What? He is thriving and is already doing things that a 2 week old should not be able to do. He can roll from his side to his back, and his back to his side. He has a lot of head control (not 100% but probably 85-90%) and eats 4 oz of formula at a time. He is not a whinny baby and really only cries when he is hungry, his tummy hurts or if we put cold wipes on his fanny to clean up his diaper mess. The rest of the time, he is pretty content little guy.

       Amos does recognize our voices and has even smiled at us a few times. He knows both his grandmas too, Jonathan and I spent a lot of time talking to Amos while he was in the womb and it seems to have paid off, He will turn his head or follow us with his eyes when he hears us talk. He also responds to music. He doesn't respond to the music the colmado plays, but if we sing or have music on in the house he will listen to it very intently. I think we might have a future worship leader on our hands, but at the very least a musician.

     My Mom returns to the States on Saturday which is sad. I have enjoyed having her here and her help has been invaluable. However, we are starting to gather the paperwork to declare Amos and get his US citizenship and passport, I am hoping to get it by the end of the year so we can travel back to the States whenever we want. I have a list of the required documentation and pictures so hopefully, it won't be a long, drawn out process. 

    

      My recovery is going pretty well. Slower than I want, but well overall I think. I am having trouble sleeping but I can't tell if that's because Amos does not have a schedule or if it's something else. We are working to get little bit on a schedule but some days we are more successful than others. But, I am able to bend over now which is nice (still can't lift but that will come) and although my incision still hurts with certain movements, or after an abnormally active day, it is not an all the time pain. I no longer need help laying down or sitting up and it does not talk me a while to move around. So, I am grateful for the little advances in my healing. And a bonus is I am able to wear my pre-pregnancy clothes which makes me happy, I have some pretty things that I have missed wearing!

      Jonathan has returned to work and the threat of hurricanes has passed for now. He is trying to play catch-up with his teaching but I know he will do fine. He is disappointed that his team did not make the world series but he did enjoying watching them play in the playoffs. He also is going to be a chaplain for one of the Dominican baseball teams and their season starts up soon. I think he will be excellent at that.

      Well, I guess that's it for now. Until next week: may Adonai grant you blessings and peace in your homes.

Amos' birth

As you have probably heard, the baby is here! He was born on Monday, September 26, 2016. He weighed 7 lbs, 10 oz. at birth and was 21 inches long. Not a large baby by American standards (or even for my family, we normally have 8.5 and up pound babies), but that is large for down here. Amos is strong and healthy and packs food away like there is no tomorrow. He doesn’t spit up, and is now drinking 3 ounces of formula at a time! There is certainly no failure to thrive praise Adonai!

My Mom arrived in Santo Domingo on Sept. 25^th in the afternoon. Her flights went well and smoothly and we had a good evening getting some baby stuff and eating mofongo for dinner, because that is what I wanted. Monday came and I was prepared for my c-section. I had been told all this time that and exception to the no people in the room policy would be allowed because of me needing a translator. Obviously, Jonathan was the person that would be allowed in. However, as soon as they wheeled me in they slammed the doors and would not let Jonathan or my Mom into the room even though I speak little Spanish. I did ask for Jonathan but my request was refused, by my doctor who had told me he could be there. Needless to say, I was very upset.

After I was in the room, it took them 15-20 minutes to administer the epidural because I required 3-4 shots. Apparently, I need a higher dosage to not feel anything. This does not surprise me as it has happened in the past with numbing medicine and such that I needed more than just one shot. However, they did finally succeed in getting my completely numb and the procedure continued.

I am not going to lie; I was fighting back tears at this point. I was scared stiff, I could not understand what they were saying, they kept sticking me with needles and my family wasn’t around. Both grandparents and Jonathan were in the waiting room and I had to go through this alone. I have never needed Adonai more, and he comforted me as I walked through it.

At noon on the dot Amos was born with nice strong healthy lungs. The doctor the got him was Jonathan’s sister (one request that was honored) and she made sure he was healthy, cleaned him up, dressed him, and took him out to meet Jonathan, my Mom and Grecia. After hearing Amos cry, I relaxed and actually fell asleep for a few minutes while the doctors stitched me up. I was met in the hall by Mom and Jonathan who assured me the baby was healthy and the face splitting smile on Jonathan’s face told me he was everything Jonathan wanted.

I was then taken to my room for recovery. I was laying perfectly flat and I was not allowed to talk or move my head to prevent the epidural headache. I did well about not lifting my head but the not talking was hard. I did pretty good though and I was successful in not getting the headache.

I could not eat, drink or nurse until Tuesday but Jonathan’s family came to see the baby and Mom stayed the night to formula feed and care for the baby while I was incapacitated. Mom brought her Spanish dictionary too so that we could somewhat communicate with medical people when Jonathan was not around. We managed but it was hard.

During the night I started bleeding really hard. The nurse (only one on duty) decided to wait until morning to change my sheets. At 7am she came in, told me to stand up, go take a sponge bath then come back to bed. She sat me up for 30 seconds, stood me up and started stripping the sheets. Mom had to help me to the bathroom and help me sponge bathe and change clothes. Now, I had not eaten since about 8am Monday morning and then it was only broth. I also had been lying on my back since noon the day before and other than saline, had no fluids and I had lost a lot of blood. I stood up in the bathroom for about 5 minutes but then passed out. Fortunately, Mom is a former paramedic and was un-phased as she caught me on my way down; preventing a concussion from hitting the sink or tile floor (and the baby was in his bed asleep too so that was good). She called for the nurse who, of course, did not come, but I came too again pretty fast after hitting the floor and was able to get up with her help and hobble back to bed.  Breakfast was brought in a little bit later which helped with my dizziness. When Jonathan arrived later that morning, he told the doctors about it and they were not pleased. My doctor was supposed to get me up and about, not the night nurse. But all is well and that was my only fainting spell.

I was allowed to start nursing Tuesday evening and it went fairly well. Wednesday Jonathan had to return to work but mid-morning I had a muscular cramp that caused a lot of pain and made breathing difficult. I then had an anxiety attack because I felt like I could not breathe. Mom got the doctor and I called Jonathan so he could translate over the phone. Both the doctor on duty and my doctor were talked too and everything was cleared up. However, I was still having my anxiety attack so Jonathan took an emergency personal day and came to the clinic. I was under observation for an hour or so and then released. Wednesday afternoon Amos and I were finally home.

Wednesday night was rough as we had not bought more formula and I had a small milk supply. I nursed literally all night but it just wasn’t enough. At 4:45am Amos finally fell asleep and at 5:00 Jonathan went to the pharmacy and bought formula. He then headed to work. Sadly, Amos had to go get some vaccines that day (Thursday) but he was so exhausted from the night that he hardly cried. However, things began to look up after that and it has been as smooth sailing as can be expected from that point on.

As for my healing, it is going slow. I have been more active then I should have been so I am trying to force myself to slow down. Due to pain and soreness, we still use formula at night so I can have a break from nursing. Jonathan and my Mom are taking turns during the night and I nurse as needed. However, during the day I only nurse and so far Amos is doing very well with that. It is just a short term solution, but it is working for now. Amos and I each see our doctors on tomorrow so we will have an update on both of us then.  

Well, that is pretty much it. It was a difficult delivery, but Praise God, Amos is here safe and sound. And now begins the healing process for me and the growing process for Amos. Until next week; may the Lord bless your homes. 

Preparing for Baby part 2

Hello!!!!

     So it's time for part 2 of baby prep! With news from the doctor that might mean Amos' arrival next week, it's been very stressful trying to get things done. However, with the help of Jonathan's mother, I think we can get it done. My Mom comes in on Sunday and she will be here to help too which is wonderful. But anyway, let's plunge in!
     

     


      We have the changing table set up! I am still waiting on the knobs from the art teacher but as they say "you can't rush art", and they are a fast and easy install when I do get them. I am not worried about it. The diaper bag was a gift from some fellow missionary friends along with the changing pad and some mittens for the baby's hands. We are very grateful for the items and the diaper bag actually matches Jonathan's teaching bag perfectly! Right down to the hunts of red seen in pockets and such. We plan on picking up the crib at some point this week and that will make everything seem super real!

  Over in the corner where the crib will be (away from the breaker box, is my "flag wall". I currently have the Dominican flag, the Oklahoma state flag, and the CCU eagles flag. I still need to hang my USA and Israel flags (trying to find them in our boxes currently) and Jonathan's DR baseball team flag. I will buy and add to the collection (at some point) a Tennessee Flag, an Ohio flag, and maybe even Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay baseball flags....just depends.

 

 

        Over by the couch are our bookshelves. Now, I am not much of a book person (I did not inherit that from my family) but Jonathan is. I do have a few books like cook books, Jane Austen, ministry books and a couple of childhood favorites. But all told, less than a shelf worth. However, between the two of us, we have quite the bible collection! And that's totally fine with me!!! But instead of dividing my books-his books, I just made one side of shelves all books and bibles and the games he uses for our game nights. On the other side, I chose to use the shelves to display some of my things that make me feel more at home. Things like my things from Israel, my star trek glasses, my India doll and B-17 model, etc. (I have odd and unrelated tastes I know!) But these things make me happy to look at, so I put them out for a more "homey" feel. Fortunately, Jonathan does not seem to mind.

   

    Now onto the kitchen. You must excuse the dishes. Every time I get it cleaned up, I need to eat and then there are more dishes. So, yeah. This kitchen is in use....all the time. The kitchen curtain is made from embroidered hand towels, each baring the name of a day of the week, that I folded and draped over the rod. These towels were a wedding gift to my Grandmother who then passed them to Mom at some point, and I then took from her (yes, I am THAT person).

   

    The shelves Jonathan hung on the left are offset from the wall slightly so the leak when it rains does not effect them. However, I have placed cans and bottles there that can get wet and be okay. My laundry stuff is then below the shelves since the washer is under the counter. The shelves on the right are my spices, bagged pantry items (flour, sugar, corn meal, oatmeal etc.) and things that cannot get wet or they will be ruined. The basket on the top in the back is our medicine basket. As far away from kids as possible (my niece and nephew visit sometimes so that's the reason its up there). The lanterns are for the power outages and then I keep my mop, broom and dustpan in that corner. This house is not square so that corner was wasted space and I am just trying to utilize it.

 

  My upper cabinets now hold my dishes. I bought some dish dryer racks from Ikea and put them on the bottom shelf to vertically store my dishes to prevent mildew, The second shelf holds all the tea and coffee cups and the top shelf is overflow china and plastic cups/travel cups.

The smaller upper holds my mixing bowls, pitchers, tupperware and things I don't use very often like my grater, and such.

      Under the counter the coffee peculator and my tea kettle are stored. On the counter I keep all my cooking utensils and knives in glass jars. We also keep the blender out because I have been making a lot of smoothies lately.

 

   



Jonathan saved these pieces when he hung the wood sides on the cabinets to make shelves. I am glad he did! The top shelf holds the tea set we used at our bride and groom table and the bottom shelf holds all our tea, coffee and hot chocolate.











 

     And just to finish everything off is the island. There is nothing special about it, just thought I would include it, especially since Kempurr decided it was a good time to sunbathe on it...while I was taking pictures of my kitchen, Jonathan has our drinking water out because I can't bend over and it is normally stored in a lower cabinet. Once the baby is here it will be returned to that location. Our fresh veggie basket (and fruits...not pictured) will be hung from the ceiling over the island....hopefully this will be done Saturday. Where Kempurr is sitting is usually where we eat (when the table is collapsed) but it happened to be in a sunbeam so she took over the spot.

      Well, that's it for the prep for now. There are a lot of doctors appointments this week to see if a C-section is needed but I will hopefully know that answer Thursday evening. I hope to post next week but if not, it's because Amos is on his way! Until next time, may Adoani bless you and give you peace.

The Fall Feasts

            I do not have any new updates on preparing for baby as I am still in the process of redoing the kitchen. Maybe next week! Instead I want to address a couple of things that I have a feeling may be causing some curiosity, and that is the fall feasts.

            The month of Elul is upon us which is the month of repentance and preparation leading into the fall feasts. Great, but what are they and why talk about them? Well, hopefully this post will answer that question.

            The fall feasts are the feasts mentioned in the Torah (the first 5 books of the old Testament) that take place in the fall. There are also spring feasts, the most well-known of which is Passover. It is argued that when Christ came the first time he fulfilled the spring feasts and he will fulfill the fall feasts with his second coming. I am not going to open that whole bag of worms this week, but rather just tell you a little bit about each of the upcoming feasts and their significance.

            The first feast to take place is Feast of Trumpets or Yom Teruah; although, sometimes it is also called Rosh Hashanah. It marks the beginning of the Jewish New Year as well as the beginning of the 10 days leading up to Day of Atonement/Yom Kippur which is the holiest day of the year. Silver trumpets and Shofars are sounded on this day as a call to repentance between you and God and to get right between you and your fellow man.

            The next feast is not actually a feast at all, but rather a day of fasting. It is considered the holiest day of the year to the Jews. It is the Day of Atonement or Yom Kippur. This is the day that the High Priest would enter the Holy of Holies in the Tabernacle, and sprinkle the blood on the altar to ask for forgiveness for all the sins of the people of Israel. It is also the only day of the year where the name of Adonai was spoken aloud and only by the High Priest. The scapegoat and the sacrificial goat where used on this day. The one goat was sacrificed and the scapegoat carried the sins of Israel spoken over it into the desert and died. The people fasted all day, repented and turned back to Adonai. This statue is forever so Jews still fast all day on Yom Kippur (unless pregnant or medically unable too).

********HERE IS WHERE I AM GOING TO INTERJECT SOMETHING*********

            I used to fast on Yom Kippur. I did for years. However the last few years I have not (nor will I this year) and let me explain why. Yom Kippur is the Day of Atonement. Animals were sacrificed on our behalf for the atonement of our sins so we could still be in communion with the heavenly Father. I understand that and agree with it to a certain point. Christ/Jesus/Yeshua/Jehovah/etc. has come down and given his life for us, becoming the atonement and therefore fulfilling the most important of the feasts. The curtain separating the Holy of Holies from the Holy Place was torn completely upon his death. This indicates to me, that there is no longer a division or sacrifice necessary to gain forgiveness or to connect with the Father. If this is the case, why is it necessary to fast and repent and all of that on Yom Kippur. We should do that year round. That day no longer holds the same significance if you are a believer than if you are a Jew. I can repent and seek mercy at from the Father any day, without the need for sacrifice or a High Priest because I have Christ who has done all of those things. No longer does an animal have to carry my sins for me. The sacrifice of Christ and what he has done should be proclaimed all year around, not just on Yom Kippur.

            I am going to get off my soapbox now as I could go on for a long time, but I think I made the point so there is no need to keep saying it.

***********BACK TO THE POST***********

            The last feast is Feast of Tabernacles, Feast of Booths or Sukkot. This is an 8 day celebration in which people live in "Sukkahs" or "Booths" (or tents/temporary dwellings). This is to practice for the wedding when Christ returns. It is during this time that Simchat Torah occurs which is where the final reading in Deuteronomy is read, and the first reading in Genesis is read, to show the ongoing cycle of the Torah. The Torah is read through ever year, beginning and ending during Feast of Tabernacles.

            Hanukkah occurs in December (usually) but is not a commanded feast so I did not include it here.

            Although, I do plan on decorating for and acknowledge these feasts, I want to caution (?) those that observe these feasts intently. I have no problem if you do that and firmly believe you are supposed to. But at the same time, remember those that are watching and interact with you. I chose to not make a big deal about it down here for several reasons. 1) Its unknown in the culture here. There are very, VERY few Jews and they kind of keep to themselves so the Dominican Culture is not familiar with Jewish laws and customs. So, even though I do not hide my beliefs, I do not flaunt them either. 2) The most important thing is to spread the Gospel. If you get all wrapped up in the Feasts and their customs, you might miss a chance to witness and ultimately, these feasts are all about Christ. Not how well we can fulfill the traditions, customs and laws associated with them. I would rather stand before the Father and answer for not adhering to the feasts than to stand before Him and explain why the Feasts prevented me from sharing the Gospel or encouraging someone in need. To me, the Salvation of souls surpasses even the most important Highest of Holy days. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying blow off the feasts or that they are not important. I am just saying, don’t let them blind you. And that goes for everything, not just the feasts. It could be everyday life or Christmas or something else. I don’t know what distracts you, but whatever it is, don’t let it be something that causes you to miss someone that God has put in your path to minister too; even if it is nothing more than paying for a coffee for them.

            Until next week; May Adonai bless you and grant peace to your homes.

Preparing for baby part 1

Greetings!

            So, the doctor has said our little one can come any time after Sept. 23^rd. I am hoping and praying he waits until my Mom gets down here on the 25^th. I am personally hoping for the 27^th but we shall see. His original due date was/is October 9^th, so that is quite a big window for possible delivery. However, it will happen in Adonai’s perfect timing.

            That being said, I am starting some serious nesting. I was on bed rest for 10 days, and this is my last week of work until I go on maternity leave, which will give me two weeks to finish everything. 2 weeks!!!!! That is no time at all, especially since I am moving so slow now. But, we have gotten some stuff done and will get more done in the next few weeks.

We went to Ikea on Sunday to get a timer for Jonathan and to check the price on something….yeah. Anyway, we did get some baby stuff there! I have needed some bins to store stuff like baby powder, lotion, diapers (when we buy some) etc. Everything I had found though has been super expensive so I haven’t bought anything. But at Ikea we came across this boxes that I think are for pictures but are sturdy and super cute! They are blue and tan and look like vintage trunks. I love them!

We also got some knobs for the changing table. The art teacher at our work said he would paint some owls on them for us! I am excited, the knobs I was going to buy were $3.50 each on amazon and not exactly what I wanted. These knobs were 100 pesos (about $2 for 2 knobs) and they will be custom painted to go with our colors and theme. Yay! 

 During all our re-arranging of things to make room for baby stuff we did discover a problem. Due to the rain and constant humidity, rust, mold and mildew is a problem. My main cabinet for dishes has really bad mildew (I hope mildew and not mold), so we had to take it off the wall, clean it and move it away from that spot due to a leak. This means I need a new solution for my dishes storage. However, thanks to Ikea, we have some ideas! My dishes cabinet is kind of off by itself so it looks a little strange to the eye. We are going to re-purpose and relocate it (probably for the baby once it’s cleaned up) and replace that cabinet with shelves. The shelves will become my pantry for cans and things like that can get a little wet and not be a problem. Then the cabinet(s) that I am using as a pantry right now will be re-purposed for dishes storage. I will store the dishes spaced apart for air flow and hopefully that will solve the issue. We just have to take measurements and finalize how we/I want to do that. However, due to the salt air, I do have to replace some of my silverware and knives that have rusted as well. But! Ikea had purple handled silverware on sale so we took advantage of that and grabbed a box. Super excited!

    Jonathan also grabbed two little wicker tray things to make beds for our cats, one of whom is for sure prego and the other could very possibly be prego as well. He is going to suspend them off the ground so Jefe can’t reach them. As long as he knows what he is doing that is fine by me! So our trip for his timer (which we did get) turned into a bit more than the one item!

            I am hoping to get more baby stuff this week and then will have a more detailed post about what we got, as our list is still fairly long of needed items. However, the boy has clothes! He won’t be naked, that’s for sure!

            As for the rest of the house and prepping for baby, I have a kitchen curtain to hang, couch cushions to be covered and some pictures to hang. But other than fixing the issue in our kitchen, we are doing pretty well. Our island still needs to be painted, but I doubt that will happen before Amos’ arrival. We shall see. I will be working when on maternity leave but only a little as I really need to slow down and take it easy. I had contractions again on Monday; I think from the heat (love power outages) and activity most of the day Sunday, and not a lot of sleep that night. So health first, then nesting; but hopefully I can do both.

            Until next week, may Adonai bless and keep you.