It’s hard to
bond as a couple when we have to always be doing things or studying. We have no
time to be together and just talk, because of papers and finals and moving
preparations. With all of the overwhelming emotions and stress this week, the
lighting of our hanukkiah every night is how we would spend 3-5 minutes together
every evening. Rather than saying the blessings and playing dreidel, we opted
to pray together instead. It was only a few minutes but it was a sincere,
heart-to-heart conversation with Adonai every evening, that we would have as a
couple. Our laptops would be open with books strewn around it, but the “let's
light the hanukkiah” moments I treasured every evening, and we have drawn a
little closer as a result.
As I mentioned
above, this week has been a hard one, emotionally, physically and mentally. Our
classes have ended, and our finals are almost complete. We have started saying our
“goodbyes” which has brought many tears to our eyes. For those of you that know
me, I only express happy emotion in public, and rarely anything else in
private. It takes a lot for me to cry, and I had several crying spells this
week (poor Jonathan). Then I stumbled across a couple of songs on youtube,
which added to the tears, but more tears of relief, of feeling understood, and that
it was okay to cry, then tears of grief. The songs were: “Worn” by Tenth Avenue
North which I remember a friend of mine showing my mother, and “Just Cry” by Mandisa.
“Just Cry” referred
to tears as prayer. I had never thought about it that way. I know in Scripture
it talks about shedding tears for lack of righteousness and such, but I had not
thought about them as being a prayer. But in a way, they are. It is when we are
crying that we are vulnerable and we talk to Adonai unguarded. Sometimes in anger
and frustration, other times in hurt, sometimes in joy, but it seems to be only
truly unguarded when we are crying…or at least that is my observation.
However, it
seems that prayer has become more habitual than sincere. We pray before every
meal, before we go to bed, before we get up in the morning, etc. But how many
times have we actually prayed in a way that was a conversation with the Father?
Not asking for things or crying out when we are in pain, but just a talk with Him. Maybe it’s nothing more than a discussion about the day,
or something on your mind, or just general stuff….much like a conversation with
your earthly father. Sometimes the best prayer time for me is when I go
someplace away from distractions and just walk and talk with Adonai. Sometimes
it’s out of frustration, sometimes depression, sometimes just a distancing from
others, but I just have a chat with God.
I think we
sometimes forget to see God as our father. We see him as omniscient,
omnipresent, all-powerful, deserving of respect, friend, king etc. However, the
aspect of Him as our Father, although said and taught, I think is easily looked
over. I firmly believe we need to maintain respect and reverence for Adonai,
but is it possible we haven’t fully comprehended his nature as a “Father” for
us?
I ask this
because prayer is an integral part of understanding this facet of God’s nature.
We don’t have a king, but imagine being before someone of great power and
authority, would you feel comfortable just chatting with him? Probably not, you
would ask or say what you had too, then leave as quickly as possible. But what
if you witnessed that person’s child coming to them and crawling up in their
lap and talking with them? It is the same powerful person as before, but now
you notice the gentle, loving, side of him that you had not seen before. Now
imagine you are that child. You know your Dad is powerful and everyone fears
and respects him. However, you also know that you can come to him at any point
and just talk to him. It seems like you have value in his eyes. You are not
just some subjugated being in his kingdom.
Prayer is our
way to connect with the Father on the child-to-parent side rather than created
being-to-creator side. We can bare our hearts before the Father and know that
he values us and what is on our heart, and he is willing to listen, we just have
to sincerely come before him.
But prayer is
much more than that. Have you ever known a prayer warrior? Have you ever seen
them pray? It is one of the most amazing, empowering and humbling things to
behold. It is like they become a different person when interceding for people!
I can almost see the heavenly battle as words come from their mouth. It is
because they are praying from the heart. They are calling on the Creator of the
Universe, the creator of all things, their DADDY, to grant ___________ for they
person they are interceding for. I don’t know about you, but for me, seeing a Dad being called
upon to help his child in need is a scary sight sometimes!
I distinctly remember
one time when I was about 8 or 9 that one such occasion happened to
me. I was playing in the front yard and my Dad was doing something with our water heater in the garage. The neighbor across the street accidentally let his
not friendly Rottweiler out and it came charging across the street at me. I
remember screaming and seeing the dog bite at the lace on the hem of my skirt.
I look up and I see my Dad charging down driveway with a hammer at the
ready, and making a noise I have never heard come out of his mouth before or
since (a mixture between a growl and words). It scared the dog away and Dad quickly
got me inside before having a talk with the neighbor. Now, I was not scared of
my father. I knew he was there to help me and protect me. The dog however, was
scared out of his wits, and went running back home, as fast as his legs could
carry him.
That’s how I
envision our prayers sometimes. Scary to others, but not those that are called
by His name and are His children.
However,
prayer is also an act of obedience. Have you ever been woken up in the middle
of the night with a strong urge or desire to pray for someone? Have you ever
not done it? Some people seem to be called to this more than others, but just
like we need to feel able to pray for ourselves to God, we need to be willing
to respond and pray for others when he asks us too. Sometimes we will
never know why, and most of the time it does not make sense; why He would ask us
to pray? I mean He is the creator, the Almighty, why is He asking me to pray
for someone else? I think it has something to do with Spiritual warfare, but
that is a post for another day.
But here is something
else to consider: does a prayer always have to be spoken? Whether it be silently
from the heart or out loud from the mouth, does a prayer have to be spoken? Can
a written prayer like a prayer journal be just as valid? I think so, it is your
heart that you are making known to the Father, and sometimes, writing is the
best way to begin. Especially if you don’t know what is bothering you but your
heart is heavy and you want to pray; just start writing, eventually it will
come out of your pen and then you can verbally pray about it too…if you wish.
Basically, I
write an extremely long post to say this: prayer is incredibly important. Don’t
let it become mundane, habitual or lose its significance in your life. It will
bring you closer to those you pray with as well as closer to the Father. So,
make time for prayer; even if it is as little as 5 minutes a day. Do not let a
day go by that you don’t have even a few minutes of heartfelt conversation with
the one who created you, and put you here for a reason. He loves his children
and he wants to hear from them, even if it’s only an “It’s been a tough day,
but I know you were with me. Thanks. I love you”.
So, be
encouraged! It’s a busy and stressful time of year but you can get through it!
